So, as a fundraiser for Macmillan I regularly get emails about up and coming events I may be interested in. Sometime in April one dropped in about doing some Miles for Macmillan, a nationwide campaign to raise £1.8million pounds this year through organised walks up and down the country (http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Fundraising/Walkingevents/MilesforMacmillan.aspx). A local walk was being organised by a fellow fundraising hero of mine, John Burkhill, a 4 or 8 mile meander around the canals and industrial parts of Sheffield, hum this is a walk I had wanted to do for a long time, being organised by a man I had wanted to meet for a long time, oh and the date, well it was organised for Father’s Day. It was a done deal from that moment really, there was a £10 registration fee for each participant and it raised money through sponsorship.
I know sponsorship is a really valid form of fundraising and raises so much for so many causes through so many events; however, I have pestered my friends for sponsorship for years, for this race, that walk, this run, that fancy dress outfit, so when I set out the £10,000 charity goal, part of the challenge has been, for any events I do, make sure I am give something back to the people spending the money. It also helps me try to think outside the box a little more and find new and wonderful ways to get friends and family to part with their hard earned cash.
So, I opened the invite out to my friends, father’s day, £10, fun walk in Sheffield. I decided to cover people’s registration fee and then the £10 they paid went into the sponsorship bucket. I was hoping to get 10 of us and raise £100, in the end we had a group of 16 of us, I was so pleased my friends wanted to get involved and a lovely bunch of us it was as well.
The week in the run up to the event I was a little nervous, Father’s Day may be a little tough, made me think about Dad a lot and didn’t want the walk to be an emotional thing, I wanted it to be a celebration, a time for reflection, a nice walk out with my Mum and my friends. My Dad loved helium balloons and I have released various balloons over the last 18 months, my way of sending a message to him and decided to do the same on Father’s Day. I also got an extra special one made for the dear Quinn for a beautiful couple facing a tough Father’s Day who also joined us on the walk.
The walk itself was lovely, spent a lot of time talking to my Mum and my friends, found a nice space to release the balloons with Poppies and Daisies and had a nice pint afterwards. I got to meet John, gave him a hug, told him his efforts were amazing and he probably thought I was a bit crazy. Even so, when he saw we were having a group picture, he came and got involved which was fab. (You can read more about Johns efforts here - http://www.justgiving.com/madmanwithpram)– Overall I was pleased with the day.
However, the reason I have found this entry difficult to sit down and write is because, I am not sure about how the walk started. It kinda put an edge to it, which has made me reconsider attending future events. There was a group welcome speech and warm up. The speech was too much. Too heavy. Too much focus on the sad. Almost felt like it was a preach to the converted and felt it was unnecessary. There was a strong emphasis on all the sad aspects of cancer and how it affects so many people and how it destroys so many lives. It got too much and I had to walk away, I couldn’t hear any more, I know too well in a very raw way how sad it is, how it destroys families, how it leaves holes in people’s lives that cannot be filled by anyone or anything other than the person that has gone. Then there are the people who are currently undergoing treatment, facing the uncertainty and desperately hoping to get to the point of being in remission and being able to celebrate but with the fear and knowledge that it may come back and come back worse… if they are on the walk, why do they need to hear that cancer kills X people a year, do you not think they are fully aware of that and are terrified of the potential outcome? and there’s all the people that are caring for people who are suffering at the moment or looking after friends and family who are grieving, scared of losing someone they love. Why make people relive all of that? I am sure every person who was there, knows why they are there, they know who Macmillan are.
I was told that after I had walked away, someone came on who gave a success story, one of the people that got to celebrate, which is amazing, I am so very happy that people get to do this and I imagine it is so… so…. I don’t even know what… but special… something… to be able to stand up and say, thanks to Macmillan for the support. People said it was a shame I missed the success story, I am not sure it is. Maybe it’s all too soon still; I know I am possibly going to find this harder than some. But I wanted my Dad to be a success story, he so desperately wanted to be a success story, not getting through the treatment wasn’t an option for him. Part of what I find hardest, struggle with, guarantees to upset me, is the disappointment for him that he couldn’t beat it – obviously I do get sad for me, sad for that fact that I don’t get my Dad in my life, but sad for him, so, so sad he couldn’t do all the things he had promised and firmly believed he would do, I know he would be gutted. But anyway I digress… my point I suppose is why pull the emotional card at these events, it seems unnecessary and I suppose it seems a bit inconsiderate as people are usually there for a reason and that reason for them may be a very difficult one.
An alternative I suggest, is celebrate, have a celebratory speech, have a minutes silence for people to still personally reflect to show that you are still respecting that things are, can be, have been tough. But celebrate the nurses, celebrate the money raised and what it will help provide for Macmillan, celebrate people who are on the walk who may not be on it without Macmillan’s helps, but the key word here is celebrate, not pull on peoples heart strings for what all I felt seemed to do is make people sad. It’s sad enough.
I have fed this back to Macmillan and but I am also really interested to hear how other people find these emotional pleas for help at the beginning of events? Anyone who has done Race for Life will know it is the same there as well. I don’t get it, but maybe if others could share what they get from it and help me understand, I won’t be so against it, knowing that for some people it really helps them.
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